Reading from Wednesday,August 3, 2011.
Nkrumah’s dilemma is that he has an aversion to risk. Ye speak of perfection, but it does go beyond that for him. His heart can know that something is correct, but he wishes a guarantee. He prefers pre-knowledge in decisions he makes and tries to create that as a continuum in his life. A valid criticism of his work is devastating to him, because he feels he should have “seen” it on his own, before he moved in a particular direction.
His intense focus has always been to see all aspects of something. To not have seen something is, to him, an internal lack. This has served him well in preventing disastrous decisions in his life. It was not thinking things through that led to his most difficult times and situations. He learned early to look at the consequences of unthinking actions, because they may bring negatives into his life.
However, he has also always fought becoming an expert at anything too. Why? It is because there is a responsibility that comes with it…being the guiding force in some area. There is a drive in him to be correct in everything he does. It “embarrasses” him to not be correct. This comes from his childhood, and the attitude that drives him crazy about his father. His father would rather proceed in darkness than to be wrong. It is this association with manhood that Nkrumah fights.
He is being constantly deluged with others who think this way, so that he can learn from it and see himself in it too. Relationships in one’s life are the mirrors of what you need to work on and conquer within yourself.
It was exactly this that created the biggest problems in the previous life with his soul-mate. He used logic there too. It was all about seeing himself in a lower position…not as young as those around him…therefore unable to compete with youth, when he was older. It was completely logical to him that the woman who is now his wife would leave him for someone who was younger and closer to her age. Thus, he saw this threat everywhere. He then tried to “control” it all, by controlling her.
This is where faith must come in. Logic can lead you astray just as easily as blind faith. There must be a balance in it all. But there must also be an opening to other perspectives as well as your own. People are always more self-critical than others are regarding them. Views of others tend to be much more idealistic that actual reality…particularly in those most admired. It is why people are followers, rather than leaders. They see themselves as more imperfect than the leaders they follow. It is always a logical perception. Issues they are born to work on become the greatest imperfection and become magnified in their minds. Those issues do not match with others’ who see their own imperfections as the highest order. Thus, others do not see that as such a negative. They instead focus on how perfect or imperfect another is in the area of their own issues. It is how they weigh others.
However, one chooses where one will be born and to whom, according to the life experience they will most likely have in that environment. The environment will always be a testing ground to go beyond the issues they have come to work on in a particular life. There are always many different levels to these issues.
Compare this to an alcoholic. When an alcoholic gives up this addiction, it is very common for them to find another addiction to cling to. The alcoholism is just a symptom of an underlying issue. Do you see? It is always much deeper than just the symptoms there.
A lifetime will continually bring on symptoms that speak of the deeper issue. Recognizing the symptom is only the first step in it all. What is the underlying condition that creates the symptom? This is the real question. What is the internal perspective that creates it? Yea, it is always an internal perspective…a belief about one’s self…how one views their identity. This can be condensed by saying what am I “supposed” to be? The problem always comes in fault with the validity of that identity. It is that the identity itself is flawed. Do you see? One will choose their place of birth based on that kind of identity. It will bring it forward almost immediately as problematic. Looking at parents, the things that can drive you craziest tend to be the issues you are there to face within yourself. They are the examples of what you must also learn to deal with within yourself. What are their fears? Are they yours? What are their actions towards others to protect themselves? Is this how you react? Is there another way? This is where faith comes in. One must have faith in the ability to recognize the issues within one’s self and begin to address them. Others shall always suggest there is another way, but one must be open to those suggestions to see if they are workable. There is a tendency in most to automatically reject something different. However, there will be constant examples coming into play to “force” one to examine the recurring patterns that are there. There is always a lesson in patterns that do not bring happiness or satisfaction. They must be plumbed to their very depths to understand the underlying issues they bring forth. No change is possible until that is done.
Keep in mind that addressing the symptom is always a temporary fix. It will inevitably be repeated, no matter how generous the solution may be. The key is always in identifying the self-identity and finding that flaw. It is more obvious in viewing others than it is in seeing the self.
Why is one adverse to risk? That is the question most important to Nkrumah. What can actually be lost? How would one react to the worst case scenario is one of the questions one must always ask. He has used the word…embarrassment. But what is that? What creates it? It is that feeling of lack of control…that lack of foresight. But at what point does one go beyond that and actually take a risk of being judged by others? This is what “risk” is inherently. It is putting self out there in a way that will bring a reaction from others. A new business, for example, is exactly that. A new thought or way of thinking is that too. The reality of this is that not everyone will be ready for a new thought or new business. There is always a resistance to new. However, when an idea is good…those who are ready shall also embrace it and be ready to move in that direction. However, it must be kept in mind that the majority are followers on that plane of existence. They do not follow until it gains some traction as something worthwhile to try. Only those who are willing to take a risk are the leaders there. The leaders move forward with no deep set fear of rejection. The rejection is a part of the risk. It is less important than the end goal.
The journey on that plane is a movement in learning. It is taking risk and then finding a way to accept other perspectives to make it stronger. It is not fear of being wrong…but rather a loving desire to improve the conditions of mankind. It is always the push that creates the movement. It is the end goal of helping others that becomes the motivation. It is a move of unconditional love that is there of man. It is not for power or success or self-gratification. Those things are not love.
Unconditional love pushes man beyond where he is…and is the push into being more. The other things that are for self-gratification are not love.
Man suffers there on that plane…not because life is imperfect…but because he cannot love himself enough to love others. To love others, one must first love self. Without that, self-gratification will always win. Taking care of self above all else is a signal of lack of love and fear of self-flaw. It is to be found in the self-identity. That self-identity is always a plan to achieve love from others and when it cannot be followed accordingly…the idea that one is not worthy of love. These ideas come from the parents and the culture surrounding them. Just because it exists does not make it correct. However, there is always pressure to meet with that identity expectation or to be rejected. To be rejected equates with lack of love. This is the view of the world. But it is not the view of the spiritual. The spiritual does always go to the deeper truth of unconditional love. Less than that is man…not God. Man does not forgive himself, thus has a hard time forgiving others. To forgive self, one must first love self. To love self…one must also see the limitations of their vision and their knowledge. However, the real contract with God comes with God showing the way and this will never do harm to man. Does this make sense? It is doing harm to others that is false. The issues one comes into that plane to deal with are always based in that tendency. Do you see? And it is always self-gratification which is primary in it too. What is pride, but wanting to be correct? When that prevails, it is always based in self-gratification. No one needs to be always correct. There will always be limitations as to what can be seen in terms of consequences. No man has that kind of wisdom. But if it is for the good of mankind…some risks should be taken.
Keep in mind the ills of the world. Greed is self-gratification. Hoarding is self-gratification. Controlling is self-gratification. Fear is self-gratification. There is no balance in any of these. When common good is there…so comes the success. Without that, it is temporary and must fall. Do you see? These are the keys. Understand them and you will grow into what you must be. Peace. Selah.